Yes, Ms. O'Neal, There Is An Arizona
I got back from Arizona today; land of the Grand Canyons and no fireworks (more on that later). I went down there on Friday to celebrate my cutest cousin's first ever birthday (I have two new cousins, and the girl must trump the boy, cute-agraphically). Now, this was the first flight that I've taken since, I think, the fourth grade, so I was a little nervous. Thoughts of Auric Goldfinger's demise flashed through my mind during the all too strung out take off (followed, of course, by the part where you lurch forward like a podracer). But the in-flight service ruled. I got orange juice; I love ojay like Sheridan in Season 2 of Babylon 5 (wow, I'm full of references today).
One thing that I noticed about a flight from Phoenix to Portland is the terrain below. Watching it goes as follows: desert, desert, desert, ooh Grand Canyon!, desert... *snrk* mmf -- fell asleep, desert, desert, confusedifyou'reoverNevadaorUtahnotthatitreallymatters, desert, Dense Forest as you go over the Cascades and into Portland.
Also, I finally found what is missing over here in the cities just outside of Portland: The Rainforest Cafe. Apparently it's a chain of restaurants and I went with the family to the one in Phoenix. Now, when I first heard talk about this place, I envisioned a place with potted palms, dribbling waterfall walls, and some fake parrots every now and then. Then I arrived outside... amidst the giant mushrooms. Oh My Goodness. This place was so incredibly, wonderfully over-the-top! The entire restaurant was almost as dim as an Outback Steak House, with the ceiling coated in fake foliage and hanging vines (which impressed me, because ceilings are hard to decorate; I know that and I'm not even a home decorater). The walls featured animatronic elephants and apes that would act up occasionally. Mothra's brood placidly flapped their wings. And every now and then a tropical thunderstorm would flash lightning and thunder through the whole place. Aquariums cast their luminous blue glow on thick tree trunks between tables. In the center of the place, the ceiling displayed a nighttime starry sky, with shooting stars flashing by the moon as a leopard growled nearby. A big, golden man in a fountaining pond held up a globe with illuminated continents and "Rescue The Rainforest" written on it.
Now I think you can fully appreciate it when I say that the man making the balloon animals for the kids was kind of disappointing to watch. It was just some guy in a top hat. Now, in keeping with the theme, I would have expected him to be dressed in more of a stereotypical witch-doctor style. I mean, at least replace the top hat with some feathery headdress!
We really need a place like this around here, just outside of Portland. Because we just have normal restaurants. If you want to go somewhere fun, you generally end up heading to downtown Portland. But if you want to go to a place to hang out and have fun, you generally have to come up with your own ideas in Beaverton/Hillsboro/Aloha. Rainforest Cafe has a downright magical ambience that beats any old memorabilia they might have in an Applebee's. I mean, do they realize what a mega-hit this place would be? Oh, well.
Dessert consisted of a Volcano. Three big brownies, big scoops of vanilla ice cream, whipped topping. Real good. Aside from convincing me that ice cream and brownies were made for each other (see below), I also learned that there are no fireworks in Arizona. The picture of the Volcano on the menu showed a sizzling sparkler on top (hence "Volcano"), but what we got was a glittery, tassley thing.
What I learned is that fireworks, among the other incarnations of fire, seem to be illegal down in Ayzee. Which must make for incredibly boring Julys. Not just Screaming Bees and Sparklers, but they won't even allows Cobras, for goodness sake! Remember those? The little black pellets that grew in snakey shapes when you held a match to them? [Not even Pop-Its! --Ed.] I'm wondering if you need to register your Zippo, down there... Oh, well, facetiousness aside, I'm sure there's some reasoning behind it... but still...
Okay, what I also figured out was that ice cream is for brownies, not cake. Despite all of the birthday parties that we've all been to, I'm pretty sure of this now. Cake is too fluffy for a food as thick is ice cream. That's what I've always thought and it's just now been made clear. That's why you put frosting or whipped topping on cake, something that's also light and fluffy [marshmallow frosting, if you're awesome --Ed.]. Or... heh... I think it's time to let you in on A Little Secret...
How To Make Awesome Cake. Bake a cake mix. Instead of filling it with that gross creamy frosting or jelly-stuff, make the middle layer --are you listening?-- whipped yogurt. Then, for frosting, give the top a base coat of normal frosting [marshmallow frosting, if you're awesome --Ed.] and, on top of that, a layer of gel frosting. Decorate to taste. Now, back to your previously scheduled brownie.
Brownies have a texture that complements ice cream. The only problem is that brownies seem to be pretty limited, flavor-wise, when compared with cake, leading into my finishing aside.
Have you ever noticed how fudge is different from chocolate? Because I'm still trying to learn that. Whenever I go to eat something fudgey I look at it and, subconsciously, think "chocolate." And then my tongue weirds me out with another flavor. It's kind of gross at first. Then, "Ooohh... not chocolate. Fudge." Then it's really, really good.
Speaking of ice cream, I've always wondered this.
Speaking of fudge, go and order Bumble Buzz from that cute girl at the local Baskin-Robbins. And have fun saying it.
One thing that I noticed about a flight from Phoenix to Portland is the terrain below. Watching it goes as follows: desert, desert, desert, ooh Grand Canyon!, desert... *snrk* mmf -- fell asleep, desert, desert, confusedifyou'reoverNevadaorUtahnotthatitreallymatters, desert, Dense Forest as you go over the Cascades and into Portland.
Also, I finally found what is missing over here in the cities just outside of Portland: The Rainforest Cafe. Apparently it's a chain of restaurants and I went with the family to the one in Phoenix. Now, when I first heard talk about this place, I envisioned a place with potted palms, dribbling waterfall walls, and some fake parrots every now and then. Then I arrived outside... amidst the giant mushrooms. Oh My Goodness. This place was so incredibly, wonderfully over-the-top! The entire restaurant was almost as dim as an Outback Steak House, with the ceiling coated in fake foliage and hanging vines (which impressed me, because ceilings are hard to decorate; I know that and I'm not even a home decorater). The walls featured animatronic elephants and apes that would act up occasionally. Mothra's brood placidly flapped their wings. And every now and then a tropical thunderstorm would flash lightning and thunder through the whole place. Aquariums cast their luminous blue glow on thick tree trunks between tables. In the center of the place, the ceiling displayed a nighttime starry sky, with shooting stars flashing by the moon as a leopard growled nearby. A big, golden man in a fountaining pond held up a globe with illuminated continents and "Rescue The Rainforest" written on it.
Now I think you can fully appreciate it when I say that the man making the balloon animals for the kids was kind of disappointing to watch. It was just some guy in a top hat. Now, in keeping with the theme, I would have expected him to be dressed in more of a stereotypical witch-doctor style. I mean, at least replace the top hat with some feathery headdress!
We really need a place like this around here, just outside of Portland. Because we just have normal restaurants. If you want to go somewhere fun, you generally end up heading to downtown Portland. But if you want to go to a place to hang out and have fun, you generally have to come up with your own ideas in Beaverton/Hillsboro/Aloha. Rainforest Cafe has a downright magical ambience that beats any old memorabilia they might have in an Applebee's. I mean, do they realize what a mega-hit this place would be? Oh, well.
Dessert consisted of a Volcano. Three big brownies, big scoops of vanilla ice cream, whipped topping. Real good. Aside from convincing me that ice cream and brownies were made for each other (see below), I also learned that there are no fireworks in Arizona. The picture of the Volcano on the menu showed a sizzling sparkler on top (hence "Volcano"), but what we got was a glittery, tassley thing.
What I learned is that fireworks, among the other incarnations of fire, seem to be illegal down in Ayzee. Which must make for incredibly boring Julys. Not just Screaming Bees and Sparklers, but they won't even allows Cobras, for goodness sake! Remember those? The little black pellets that grew in snakey shapes when you held a match to them? [Not even Pop-Its! --Ed.] I'm wondering if you need to register your Zippo, down there... Oh, well, facetiousness aside, I'm sure there's some reasoning behind it... but still...
Okay, what I also figured out was that ice cream is for brownies, not cake. Despite all of the birthday parties that we've all been to, I'm pretty sure of this now. Cake is too fluffy for a food as thick is ice cream. That's what I've always thought and it's just now been made clear. That's why you put frosting or whipped topping on cake, something that's also light and fluffy [marshmallow frosting, if you're awesome --Ed.]. Or... heh... I think it's time to let you in on A Little Secret...
How To Make Awesome Cake. Bake a cake mix. Instead of filling it with that gross creamy frosting or jelly-stuff, make the middle layer --are you listening?-- whipped yogurt. Then, for frosting, give the top a base coat of normal frosting [marshmallow frosting, if you're awesome --Ed.] and, on top of that, a layer of gel frosting. Decorate to taste. Now, back to your previously scheduled brownie.
Brownies have a texture that complements ice cream. The only problem is that brownies seem to be pretty limited, flavor-wise, when compared with cake, leading into my finishing aside.
Have you ever noticed how fudge is different from chocolate? Because I'm still trying to learn that. Whenever I go to eat something fudgey I look at it and, subconsciously, think "chocolate." And then my tongue weirds me out with another flavor. It's kind of gross at first. Then, "Ooohh... not chocolate. Fudge." Then it's really, really good.
Speaking of ice cream, I've always wondered this.
Speaking of fudge, go and order Bumble Buzz from that cute girl at the local Baskin-Robbins. And have fun saying it.
posted by Jeff at 12:41 AM
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